Belated Resolution...erm, continuation

I don't really buy into the the New Year's resolutions. Why should we wait for a certain time of year to try to improve ourselves, anyway?

Last August 2008, I began changing how I ate, started writing down calories EVERY day (with occasional exceptions (fair, Turkey day, Christmas, eating out, etc), and exercising a bit. Now, five months later, I am about 25 pounds lighter and feeling so much more alive. I sleep better, look better (at least my hubby says so), etc :)

But, the last month has really been a period of stagnation. I've managed to maintain my weight loss because I am kind of ADDICTED to writing down my calories (I'm a walking calorie encyclopedia, heh). However, my motivation to exercise has really tapered off. I even bought a Wii and Wii Active to help me get motivated to exercise (and, it did).

I just can't see me cutting back more on my calories--I'm so comfortable with the amount of food I'm getting now (1500-1600 daily) I'm not sure I could cut back to less. Hence, I should really get some more aerobic exercise in my life.

What do I feel like I want to get me exercising? I want a warm place to exercise, with all the space to do workouts that I want/need. I wish I could find a workout buddy on the same physical level as me, and a local YMCA, etc with great weights, programs.

I MISS being able to go outside for walks, even short ones or to walk to the grocery store for small trips. Stupid winter. (I think at least five pounds of my loss happened because I could walk to the store, hah.)

But, I can't have any of those things. I have a 3 or 4 foot corner to use my Wii active; the house is FREEZING and Old Man Winter doesn't listen to me. And, a gym is not an option--I simply can't afford it (must pay for dental work, instead) PLUS I'm afraid I'd pay for it and not go without someone or something (like a trainer) to keep me motivated.

I've really hung in there the last few months. I've WANTED this lifestyle change so bad. And, I still do. I don't think I can go back to Hamburger Helper--I love the new foods we've brought into our lives. I MISS exercising. I still feel the need to move almost daily but have no idea where I can get my "fix."

Gah...there IS a way. I MUST find it. I WILL. There's just no going back now that I've experienced this good life. :)

Update of lame

The last eight months have been so slow. I mean that is the all=encompassing way that it sounds like, too. Work has been slow, change has been slow, learning a new town and making new friends have all been slow endeavors.

I do have a new part-time job on the horizon (about 80% sure right now I will land it), so that's at least some small change for the better.

I suppose the entire country has been caught in this molasses-impersonating economy, so I should just bear through it, like so many others. And, I will.

Maybe it's the insanely cold weather, but I'm just down about life lately. I hardly want to get out of bed. My grad school plans are in the toilet and my meaningless, brain-killing job only seems to get worse over time.

Okay, here's where I kick myself in the butt and count my blessings. I have to remember all that I DO have. I HAVE a job, and it has given me the time to start a cooking blog ( http://healthydeliciousmeals.wordpress.com/). And, grad school...well, was it really what I wanted to do? I'm just not so sure anymore. And, of course, I still have KC in my life. Thank god for that.

So, I'm jumping back into my volunteering this week. I hope to get more involved in a couple of other places soon. I don't think I'll be returning to my previous two volunteer places--I just don't feel at all needed. And, okay, one of them is just boring the pants off of me, and not in a good way. :)

And, I REALLY hope to meet some cool people soon. KC and I get along perfectly, but some variety in the social calendar would be awesome for both of us. :)

Stay warm everyone!

The digital disconnection

Lately, I've been really struck by how interconnected our lives are in this digital age. There are dozens of ways to communicate without ever hearing or seeing another person--e-mail, voicemail,texts, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, etc. We have all these ways to get glimpses into the lives of other people without any real contact.

But, how does the quality of all of this digital communication compare to a visit, a phone call, or a handwritten letter? I believe this digital age has left a lot of people feeling isolated and lonely (I often do, so maybe I'm generalizing here). I've lived here in T-town for months now and while I've been able to keep in "contact" with my old college friends and colleagues, there has been no real communication, no real connection (well, maybe that one FB chat that one time) with even a potential friend.

No, here's what I think. All the digital comm. is a great way to keep in touch with people--maybe far away family and friends, college buddies and little-known former bosses. But, you can't make any new connections via ONLY digital means. I really believe that a good friendship usually occurs when you get the chance to meet face to face. When do we ever meet people face to face anymore?? We don't.

I don't have a solution...and I don't think a solution is necessary, not exactly. Mostly, because this digital age is here to stay. All the information at our fingertips is highly addictive, in its own way.

I just miss having a face to face conversation over lunch.

Quick Post-Thanksgiving post

(I will be posting a Thanksgiving pic here very soon!)

We had a wonderful meal yesterday, just KC and me and our roomie Mike. We went all out this year and cooked a GIANT meal that we had prepped the night before. M was very gracious with a pre-meal toast and his compliments of the food. He was great company. :)

Today, most of us are back at work (except, it is my usual day off from the hotel). I'm planning a almost-3 mile walk here in a few minutes to walk to the Philbrook Museum. I'm volunteering there, and wanted to see if it's close enough for me to walk to before the weather gets too cold!

Update on grad school: All of my materials are in (thank god for old friends/colleagues) and I have a graduate assistantship interview next Thursday. Hopefully, I get accepted between now and then! Getting the assistantship means I can start grad school early since it pays for tuition and would provide a stipend and health insurance. I'm very excited for the chance to talk to them. Let's keep our fingers crossed!

Well, that's all the big news for now. Hope everyone else is having a great holiday season! I know I am--holidays with KC are always so wonderful. :)

Love for blogs

I haven't posted in a while, so I wanted to make this a short, positive little hello to everyone! I also just want to mention the Kath Eats Real Food blog. This blog, and some of the blogs listed on her Blogroll page are really helping me change my life. She and Angela from the Oh She Glows blog have been a huge influence on my life these last few months. I may not be much like them (I'm no exercise nut, after all) but they share such positive and healthy outlooks on life that I wanted to share the love!

So, take a quick look, especially if you're interested in healthy living. Worst case scenario, you will find some amazing recipes on Kath's site just in time for today's dinner. :) (I discovered butternut squash...it's like a sweet potato, minus all the carbs! How did I live without it?)

Insomnia II

I've just realized that I've been writing this blog for nearly four years now. That's quite a milestone for me. I'm generally the kind of person that never finishes most projects I start (or I finish them REALLY slowly).

My main thoughts tonight, after reading back over some of my previous posts, include:

1. I really miss Helen and her blog. I realize you're a busy, busy lady, H, but I hope to see you 'round the 'net soon. :)

2. I love seeing my posts about KC and realizing that I still feel the SAME wonderful way about him, more than two years later. I would never have believed such love, laughter and acceptance was possible before meeting him.

3. That there are people that I really do miss. My dad and K & D, especially. But, those days are long gone.

4. That those last couple of college years were probably some of the best of my life. BUT...it makes me really look forward to grad school next fall. :)

Ciao!

Warning: a boring post

Like I so often do, I'm turning to this blog as a means to simply put my thoughts down and give them some kind of mind-calming structure.

I've very recently begun looking into graduate school once again. I've realized how pitiful my life and career are going to be if I don't continue my education. I don't want to work for the next ten years for less than $10 an hour and no benefits

Oddly enough--and in spite of the push to complete my undergrad degree just a year ago--I think I am more driven today than ever before in my life to improve myself financially and educationally.

But, I have to be honest, I'm scared to try school again. Why? Because I found South to be two extremes for me: 1. I was bored to tears, learning useless information or 2. I was extremely frustrated with complex material (that I wanted to learn) that was presented by very, very bad instructors. Sure, I made the grade either way, but the learning process had no joy for me. I MISS that. Also, what use is an education you can't use? (I feel the need to mention that I took 2 history courses from Professor Kozelsky and Dr. Miller that were the outstanding exceptions. I loved those classes.)

So, here I am, looking into Library Studies/Librarianship programs. Why choose that? Well, I have to be honest with myself--I can't take stress. I just can't. I fall totally apart if my workload is too heavy or if I have an overbearing boss and lots of deadlines to contend with every day. That's not to say I can't handle a lot of work. I work very hard, even unsupervised or alone, and I am highly organized and dedicated to a job once I start it. Also, I don't take the kind of breaks that other people seem to when I'm on the job. If I'm at work, I'm there to WORK! I'm really goal-focused and like to finish something once I've begun it.

Wow, was that paragraph any more a boring cover letter or what?

So, librarianship calls to me for practical reasons. I assume it is not overly stressful but instead sufficiently busy. I also realize it's a career I can take anywhere, no matter what part of the country I settle in next. But, there's still that one not-practical reason: I love the library. I get this happy little feeling every time I leave the building with an armload of new books.

I guess that goes back to the escapism of reading as a kid. I didn't have many friends, but I did have daily literary destinations to take me away from poverty and my friendlessness. (oh, I had friends...I wasn't that pathetic. Just not many chances to "hang out" like so many other kids found in their teen years. I even admit to liking my books more than some of the kids around me.)


So, back to grad school. I'm on the path to GRE study sessions and graduate study applications. (What if I'm not accepted? Library studies isn't offered in very many schools, maybe one a state. )

So...here's hoping this plan works out.