It's official, I've been hired by the Educational Talent Search as a tutor. I signed the paperwork this afternoon.
I feel...ambivilant...and strangely expectant. I hope to find more satisfaction in the work with ETS than I've so far found in the library. I think I have stayed at the library mostly because it's easy (translate: non-stressful) and very very flexible. And, I like the people I work around very much. But the work? Boring.
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I recently stressed out completely about the TV production class I'm taking this semester. I nearly dropped it, but Dr. Rockwell talked me back into class.
It's strange to me, this feeling that enters my life every few months (or is it days?). When I get settled in life, I start to feel like something is missing, bored maybe and/or like I'm missing out on something. But I think I had an epiphinany today: If I'm so bored, why am I so afraid to challenge myself (i.e. to take aforementioned production class)?
I think asking myself this question has been the deciding factor in keeping the class. Though being literally in the director's seat or on camera frighten me, these "terrifying" experiences will help me feel alive.
If I can't find meaning I suppose I hope most to find feeling.
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