I found out that I won't be going to London for the summer; there just isn't enough money. But, I did get an insider's tip into a pretty cool internship for the summer (and it pays very well, woohoo) so I'm still not sad about any summer plans. I hope to save some money and maybe study abroad another time. I know IT classes aren't offered in summer so perhaps next summer I can go somewhere fun.
I'm crossing my fingers about the internship. I know I need to work very hard to get the hiring person's attention. I hope to get together a great-looking resume (I have one, but needs an update) and such this weekend.
Well, I'm off to do some homework. Yay! New programming stuff. :)
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Sad..... :(
I've been semi-excited about the possibility of studying in London for the summer this last week. I don't have any other classes available this summer to take toward my degree so I was hoping to try a study abroad program. Downside is that studying in another country is very expensive! So far, word back from the financial aid department has been depressing. The financial aid available for me amounts to about $1000--the trip/tuition/etc costs between $5000 and $6000.
I don't know YET if there is more to the story. If I've learned anything dealing with USA financial aid office (and others for that matter) it is that going to see someone in person makes things much more clear. If nothing else, they could point me toward possible scholarships, etc.
Today, I'm feeling still like I am NEVER going to finish college--and I'm still an undergrad! I have a steady major but b/c I only just started my minor I think I'll be in college at least 2 semesters longer than I hoped (I thought I'd be done by next Spring). And that two semesters could be 3 or 4.......sigh.
I am so very willing to do the work. But, I have to follow the rules and the linear-learning that is programming and IT (my minor). So...yeah.
I know people keep saying I'm young...but I am 26 this year. I feel 30 edging closer. Yeah, 30 isn't old, but I'm just a little tired of being surrounded by the immature teens like the ones I've been exposed to this semester. I look forward to graduate school and hope some of the "I'm going to college b/c there's nothing better to do/my mom made me" kids will move on to things they'd rather be doing.
Tonight I'm just trying to give myself a little pep talk (though it may not seem like according to what I've written so far). I realize that even if it takes until I'm 35 or 40, a Master's Degree will be well worth it. I enjoy IT and the people involved in it. I want to have the credentials to work with those folks, doing what I like.
As for London, all hope is not lost. Maybe it's not too late to apply for a scholarship or grant or something (though, I doubt it, the deadline to apply is Feb. 28). I still have a professor or two to talk to about it. Also, if London is not meant to be, that doesn't mean I can't perhaps find an interesting internship for the summer (and save money to study abroad at a later time).
My car is being retarded--I can't open the driver's side door, except for a few inches, so I squeeze in and out of it. Thankfully, the rest of the car seems okay and it still runs pretty well. I don't really have the money to fix such a small problem b/c I've set up a monthly budget for myself with my finaid and I just can't spend $500 or more to fix a vehicle not worth the investment.
These times like now are hardest for me. I miss my dad an immeasurable amount lately.
I miss the support of having lots of friends around me. I talk to two or three people sometimes--but they are so different. I feel like those people in my life who don't really appreciate an education or even want one or any type of change in their lives (even when life is difficult they do nothing to improve themselves so they can be happier) I just wish so much for people around me that are aware. Aware of how much there is to learn, aware of just what they can accomplish in an extra 20 or 30 minutes of work, aware of how much MORE that is out there waiting to be found.
I still feel like that you know: that the good part of life, the best part, is right around the bend. Don't get me wrong. Today, life is pretty good. I've got a nice place to live, and money in my pocket, and college is coming along. I stay busy.
I'm ending here. I've just realized this is turning into a pathetic "lonely" rant. And, damn it all, that is just the way it is for girls/people like me. At least, for now. For now, I can deal with it and be happy to learn so many new things about life and ....well, technology and other stuff.
I have to...I promised my dad I'd be okay.
I am. I will be.
I don't know YET if there is more to the story. If I've learned anything dealing with USA financial aid office (and others for that matter) it is that going to see someone in person makes things much more clear. If nothing else, they could point me toward possible scholarships, etc.
Today, I'm feeling still like I am NEVER going to finish college--and I'm still an undergrad! I have a steady major but b/c I only just started my minor I think I'll be in college at least 2 semesters longer than I hoped (I thought I'd be done by next Spring). And that two semesters could be 3 or 4.......sigh.
I am so very willing to do the work. But, I have to follow the rules and the linear-learning that is programming and IT (my minor). So...yeah.
I know people keep saying I'm young...but I am 26 this year. I feel 30 edging closer. Yeah, 30 isn't old, but I'm just a little tired of being surrounded by the immature teens like the ones I've been exposed to this semester. I look forward to graduate school and hope some of the "I'm going to college b/c there's nothing better to do/my mom made me" kids will move on to things they'd rather be doing.
Tonight I'm just trying to give myself a little pep talk (though it may not seem like according to what I've written so far). I realize that even if it takes until I'm 35 or 40, a Master's Degree will be well worth it. I enjoy IT and the people involved in it. I want to have the credentials to work with those folks, doing what I like.
As for London, all hope is not lost. Maybe it's not too late to apply for a scholarship or grant or something (though, I doubt it, the deadline to apply is Feb. 28). I still have a professor or two to talk to about it. Also, if London is not meant to be, that doesn't mean I can't perhaps find an interesting internship for the summer (and save money to study abroad at a later time).
My car is being retarded--I can't open the driver's side door, except for a few inches, so I squeeze in and out of it. Thankfully, the rest of the car seems okay and it still runs pretty well. I don't really have the money to fix such a small problem b/c I've set up a monthly budget for myself with my finaid and I just can't spend $500 or more to fix a vehicle not worth the investment.
These times like now are hardest for me. I miss my dad an immeasurable amount lately.
I miss the support of having lots of friends around me. I talk to two or three people sometimes--but they are so different. I feel like those people in my life who don't really appreciate an education or even want one or any type of change in their lives (even when life is difficult they do nothing to improve themselves so they can be happier) I just wish so much for people around me that are aware. Aware of how much there is to learn, aware of just what they can accomplish in an extra 20 or 30 minutes of work, aware of how much MORE that is out there waiting to be found.
I still feel like that you know: that the good part of life, the best part, is right around the bend. Don't get me wrong. Today, life is pretty good. I've got a nice place to live, and money in my pocket, and college is coming along. I stay busy.
I'm ending here. I've just realized this is turning into a pathetic "lonely" rant. And, damn it all, that is just the way it is for girls/people like me. At least, for now. For now, I can deal with it and be happy to learn so many new things about life and ....well, technology and other stuff.
I have to...I promised my dad I'd be okay.
I am. I will be.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Life is good
A very belated "Thank you!!" to Helen for the B-day wishes!! Thanks for remembering. And, as sappy as it sounds, I made one of my New Year's resolutions "Remember my friends b-days and special events!". It is a year to be a better friend. Cuz, I love you guys!
Now that financial aid has finally arrived (over a month into the semester) and classes are going very well, I feel very satisfied with the day to day life of late. I got a new computer (but, blech!, it has Windows Vista, which won't work with anything! It is not backwards compatible at all! What was Microsoft thinking?!) But, I don't mind b/c I get Windows XP free for being a CIS student at USA, yay!
I've attempted to get motivated enough to write for the Vanguard, the college newspaper, but I just haven't yet. I had this idea about writing about the way Starbucks is taking over Mobile (opening shops across the street from Carpe and Satori and Beaners, all locally owned coffee places), but after a survey of students I'm too depressed to write about it. No one cares. Well, that one guy, but yeesh. I don't know though, I am feeling more upbeat and realize that maybe at 19 or so most kids just don't care about such things (man I'm getting old!).
And, side note, what else could I write when talking about Starbucks' takeover?? Ideas appreciated.
If anyone has advice about how to care about things like corporate monopolies and the scary parts of capitalism and still stay happy and supportive of the American way of life, let me know. I like the idea that here, in America, we can do anything if we put our minds to it. It just scares me a little...or at least, concerns me a little, that someone can work and work and it won't matter b/c he or she is going up against some corporate monster.
And, most of all, it bugs me that I like Carpe, but the service and quality is so NOT consistent. I can get a mocha one day and its AWESOME, another and I have to pour it out. Starbucks doesn't have that problem (though, since I've been thinking about this article I don't go to Starbucks cuz I'd feel like a traitor).
Oh, blah. I promise I am feeling good and happy. Guess I just want to be non-apathetic too. It's kinda hard to balance the two ways of thinking at times.
I'm going to do homework and play on my new computer!! Capitalism can be good, most of the time...
(Grin.)
Now that financial aid has finally arrived (over a month into the semester) and classes are going very well, I feel very satisfied with the day to day life of late. I got a new computer (but, blech!, it has Windows Vista, which won't work with anything! It is not backwards compatible at all! What was Microsoft thinking?!) But, I don't mind b/c I get Windows XP free for being a CIS student at USA, yay!
I've attempted to get motivated enough to write for the Vanguard, the college newspaper, but I just haven't yet. I had this idea about writing about the way Starbucks is taking over Mobile (opening shops across the street from Carpe and Satori and Beaners, all locally owned coffee places), but after a survey of students I'm too depressed to write about it. No one cares. Well, that one guy, but yeesh. I don't know though, I am feeling more upbeat and realize that maybe at 19 or so most kids just don't care about such things (man I'm getting old!).
And, side note, what else could I write when talking about Starbucks' takeover?? Ideas appreciated.
If anyone has advice about how to care about things like corporate monopolies and the scary parts of capitalism and still stay happy and supportive of the American way of life, let me know. I like the idea that here, in America, we can do anything if we put our minds to it. It just scares me a little...or at least, concerns me a little, that someone can work and work and it won't matter b/c he or she is going up against some corporate monster.
And, most of all, it bugs me that I like Carpe, but the service and quality is so NOT consistent. I can get a mocha one day and its AWESOME, another and I have to pour it out. Starbucks doesn't have that problem (though, since I've been thinking about this article I don't go to Starbucks cuz I'd feel like a traitor).
Oh, blah. I promise I am feeling good and happy. Guess I just want to be non-apathetic too. It's kinda hard to balance the two ways of thinking at times.
I'm going to do homework and play on my new computer!! Capitalism can be good, most of the time...
(Grin.)
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